The Shocking Truth Behind The Psychopomp Conspiracy, or Welcome To The Website!

(Pope-Received Transmission #001 In The (D.O.)A. Class)

by Pope Fez, Pope Of All Pagans, Emeritus Toxiticus

WORSHIP JESUS!

That's right. Immediately hit your "Home" browser to Google or whatever you've got it set to and type in "Christian Fundamentalism". Whatever results appear, follow the first link to a website where you can Send Money Now so you won't go to Straight To Hell.

Ok? DO IT NOW.

Still there?

Ok, you're obviously an Open-Minded Person. Don't get me wrong, the good folks here at Psychopomp have absolutely no problem with Christian folk, or any religious/spiritual/enlightened person for that matter...as long as said person is Open-Minded themselves, and accepting of all other Faiths, Traditions, and Paths (with the caveat that said faiths, etc, harm no others, i.e. no bunny sacrifices, etc.)

For the main purpose of Psychopomp is a sort of "meeting ground" of ALL faiths, from Animalism to Zoroastraism. Monotheistic, Polytheistic, Bob Barker-theistic, it don't matter. Just as long as you're NICE.

Past Psychopomp Events have been attended by (and this is from Psychopomp's own info): "Buddhists, Christians, Ceremonial Magicians, Druids, Cabalists, Freemasons, Natives, Pagans, Psychotherapists, Students, and Journalists." (Btw, it's nice to see the last three as recognized faiths these days, especially Journalists. I personally know a couple of Journalists who should get more knowledgeable about human sacrifice from the first-hand experience, but I wildly digress...)

So you can see from that list that Psychopomp is a pretty open crowd. And their past events (especially the ones hosted by Myself, Pope Fez), have been great, karmically-howlin' Good, Good Times. Shining spiritual souls drifting across the room to share their personal Experiences and Truths with one another while keeping an eye on the bartender for Last Call, can pretty well sum things up in this short intro.

So this website will be the new "Virtual" meeting ground now for Psychopomp, so Spiritual Beings All Over The World can (digitally, at least) meet and grow and enrich one another and affirm each other's existence and hug and all that crap. Intolerance Will Not Be Tolerated.

And what to talk about? Well, anything and everything simply Divine, my dear, as it were. How do you perceive the Great Smiling Yoda In The Sky? How do you worship? Do you cast spells, or run up to strangers screaming "Kill Me For Bob!"? Basically, fundamentally (heh), share with us how you get in touch with what connects us all.

Psychopomp is discussion through sharing towards enlightening, sometimes to good music too. And one big part of this Brand New Sparklin' Website is to create new meetings, hopefully in more than one city. (FYI: many of the meetings have taken place in Toronto and the surrounding area, and believe the 'Fez, Toronto has added it's own, ahem, "flavor" at times to said gatherings. But, yet again, I wildy digress, Yoda forgive me.)

So, Take Part. Pope Fez officially declares The Psychopomp Website to be the Crossroads Of All Paths, At Least To Yak About Things. It Is Good.

Ok, Yes, Good. Now that that's all done, let me tell you about a couple of people putting a lot of effort into Psychopomp itself. The first guy is the handsome, young Scandinavian-swimmer body-type Rikki, a happy fellow who's put a lot of damn solid effort into the organization over the past years. Truth be told, so has his gorgeous and intelligent, shapely-assed wife Vada   h(H)erself, who has also had to deal with the extra burden of keeping Rikki pointed in one direction at one moment in one dimension...being that Rikki isn't so much as a being as an event in time. These two Glowing Souls have been the reason why so many people have met and become friends, and Pope Fez commends them for that wonderful deed.

Running this website is Rob or Bob (or whatever the hell he's calling himself these days, Frater Chuckles for all I know). He has petitioned Pope Fez to write for this digital Temple, and that will be a mark on his karma for many incarnations, so don't worry, it's being handled. For many, many hours has Bob toiled, like an obsessed Oompah Loopah, on the Psychopomp Website, only staggering out bleary-eyed to eat instant soup and watch Maple Leaf hockey games. His dedication and determination is also commendable, or at least hopefully treatable through appropriate medication.

NOW! Since Psychopomp is all about (say it with love) Sharing, a little about The Pope Fez, Pope Of All Pagans (Whether They Like It Or Not).

I am purely a Created Being, Your Good Polytheistic Papacy, Manifested in the Body of ThaBalGuNaD ("That Bald Guy Named Dan"). Summoned and Drawn Down & Quartered by Pagans over the years at various Festivals, I have but grown in Strength through their Love and Joy and General Irresponsible Revelry, to take My Place as their Physical Spokesperson For Karmic Clearinghouse Savings. Know that I am Your Pope in that I Am A Part Of You. You are as much One in the Union of the Lord and Lady as I am; as a Pagan, I declare no closer right to represent Them in any way. However, I was Made in the Essence of The Gods of Revelry, so I am a Fool, a Divine Wiseass, Happy-Go-Lucky in the service of the Gods and their myriad, teeming Children. As there is no other contender to Pope Of All Pagans, and if there was I would successfully wrestle them to victory, I now and hereby declare that, during Manifestations, I, Pope Fez, shall Represent a Holy Papacy Of Pagans all over this beautiful, shining World. Pope Fez asks little but that you Love One Another, Worship, Be True To Yourself, and Procreate or 'Ave A Go At It, Whichever You So Choose. Know that I am not a jealous Pope, being Pagan, and see all Manifestations of the God and Goddess, all Worships of the Lord and Lady, as Valid and True...as long as They Harm None, And Give Me Liqour And Sweet, Sweet Herbs Of The Field. Know that Pope Fez Loves You, And Accepts You, even if you don't Give A Damn.

We hereby state these Symbols of Office:

- My Papacy shall be recognized by the official 'Fisherman's Pants' Ring, which Pagans are obliged to kiss or high-five whenever having an audience with the Pagan Papacy.

- The Holy Fez shall be given Due Respect, and if you are so Chosen to Adorn It for a Karmically Good Deed, are expected to Fall Down and Writhe In Appropriate Ecstacy.

- The Spiritual Cape Of Keeping Warm During Holy Unconciousness. Enough on that.

And, Finally:

That Pope Fez ends this first Missive with His Dual Divine Blessing on this, The Psychopomp Website. May it serve its purpose in Joy, and draw together the myriad lifestrands of True Divine Seekers Everywhere. In the end, our Final Hope is that, in some small way, we can all share our searching torchlights with each other in all this, the Unknown Darkness. Blessed Be, Amen, and Selah.

POPE FEZ